Of Touching Hands

“What is wrong?” he asked impatiently.
I blinked several times, and tried to focus my attention to him.
He arched his brow, commanding an answer.
I sighed. I cannot help it.
In my mind I remember the moment –
Of touching hands…
Of electricity flowing.
Sweeping me…
Until I burn.
And with just that touch –
I can feel my whole being on fire.
My walls of defenses crushing at my feet…
How can I possibly tell him?
How can I make him understand?
When I don’t understand it myself…
And so I just look at him –
Like I looked at Jade when I told her.
“You look…confused... troubled… what is wrong with you?” he frowned.
I wanted to laugh.
Instead I felt tears blurring my vision…
Choking me…
Squeezing my heart painfully…
“I don’t know –“I said.
And must have repeated it like a litany…
But I had not realized it until he drew me into his embrace.
“Shhh – “he said…and held me.
While I wept.
I cried all my frustrations.
Drained all my confusions…
Tried to drown all my fears and miseries –
Until there is no more tears to cry.
Cy01.29.05