On Distance

“All I can say to that is no,” I said. “It is a big - no; let me correct myself, a huge NO!”
“I suppose he just feels that perhaps things are more difficult for you now,” he said.
I sighed.
“It’s normal for people in love to miss each other,” I said.
“To feel pain and sad when they cannot be together, when the only longing of their hearts is to be one.”
He was silent.
“But that is not reason enough to give up on the relationship,” I said.
“If a relationship is easily shaken by distance, then what is the point in committing?” He asked.
“If a relationship is easily shaken by distance then it is not founded on love,” I said. “It’s got to be love or nothing.”
“If it is real then distance should be a non-factor,” he agreed.
“I believe that the only time one should give up on the relationship is when one has ceased to love.”
Cy.06.24.06

Resistance

“I led myself to believe that I don’t really care about him,” I said.
“But now you know,” he said. “That the pretense is over.”
I was silent.
For in my heart of hearts I know that I do.
“I wanted to tell him,” I said.
“Why didn’t you?” he asked.
I cannot risk vulnerability, I said to myself.
“I cannot give him the power to break me,” I said.
“I hope that he will understand….”
“Eventually?” he asked.
“I cannot care,” I whispered.
“I cannot risk pain.”
Cy.06.19.06

Of Detaching

If you decided you had enough –
I will not beg you to change your mind.
I will not even ask why.
But I hope that we will find peace.
And recapture a fragment of our friendship.
I shall not ask you to stay.
Instead I will let go.
I will just walk away.
Cy.06.18.06

To reach you

I reached out to you.
But you gave me nothing but silence.
How can one battle silence?
Does one combat it with an equal amount of silence?
Is it time you need?
Space perhaps?
How can I reach you?
Cy.06.17.06

Falling Apart

I watch us drift apart.
The distance between our bodies expanding –
Until I can no longer see what is in your eyes.
There is nothing but this wall of silence now.
So thick that it deafens us both –
Even to the sound of our own heart beats.
Cy.06.16.06