Protest

I promised myself multiple times –
To liberate myself from your influence….
I do not understand how I couldn’t seem to keep anything from you.
When you keep everything from me…
I suppose it is my way to tell you –
Although, indirectly, to trust me –
I hate it when you lie.
Because it is so obvious –
And every time you do –
It makes me ask:
“Do I look stupid to you?”

I want you to know that I respect your wish for silence.
But I am having a hard time dealing with your lies.
Cy08.20.06

Flight

“I’m sorry, I was irate to you earlier,” he said. “Sometimes I just get so hot tempered. But I am trying my best to be good for you.”
“I’m sorry too,” I said. “I shouldn’t have bothered you. But thank you for coming.”
“I couldn’t talk now,” he said. “Everybody’s here. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
I didn’t say anything to that.
I was afraid I’d say the only thing that was on my mind.
I wanted to say:
You don’t have to say sorry. Everything was my fault.
You don’t have to try to be the best either.
Because you’ve done enough of that too –
I think that perhaps we have rushed too soon into a relationship.
Without realizing how different we really are.
I think we should take things slower; lay low.
To fully understand what is in it for us.
We have walked out of each other twice.
I cannot risk a third time…
But of course I didn’t say anything.
Cy08.04.05