Supplication

I am no longer happy with the way things are going.
Sometimes it makes me think that we have more uncomfortable moments than good ones.
And this is not what I have planned.
I did not commit into this relationship to feel this gnawing emptiness, this uncertainty.
You can call me self-centred if you think I deserve that.
But I just needed to be honest with you and with myself.
Ever since I was a child I dreamt of finding the person to share all my success and failure with.
I thought it is coming true, like a dream finally actualizing when I’ve committed in this relationship.
Only to find out, I am wrong.
Cy10.06.06

Fear

“Sometimes I’d asked myself why I put up with all of it,” I said.
“Perhaps you are afraid,” he said.
“Afraid?” I repeated.
“Yes, afraid to detach,” he stated as if it was the obvious.
I was silent.
Can he be right? I asked myself.
Cy10.18.06