Its fun being your own boss...

Yes, this is correct , I felt that once too, I was so sad when I left home.
I felt so alone when I got here.
But I said to myself, its either I'll try accepting this distance or I'll go home.
Going home meant back then to "give up" all I dreamt of...
I've dreamt of finding who I really am...
So I 've tried to accept the reality that I have to stand on my own feet.
And believe me, the distance had grown on me.
I realized it could be fun...
I could do things my way...

But, it's not always like that...
Sometimes out of nowhere,I felt this pang....
This sense of being alone...
And I started feeling sad...
Missing people I love...
But its either I surrender to the sadness or I'll stand on my feet again..
I chose to stand on my feet.
So I kept myself busy...
So I wouldn't feel how alone I am.
I'ts a lie...yes... I admit that...
Sometimes I live in denial...
Convincing myself that I am happy where I am right now...
And sometimes it usually works .
I can forget my sadness...
But at times, it catches up on me again...
Because its the truth, and perhaps I can never really run away from this truth...
But, I'm cool with that right now...
I keep telling myself...
It's not always going to be like this.
The time will come, eventually... I can really be happy...

And in New Year's eve, I felt the same gnawing sadness...
But...
I chose this ..
I chose to be here where I am right now....

I don't really think that it is a failure to succumb to loneliness.
I feel that it is a mere acknowledgment of that fact that we are all vulnerable.
And that no matter how far we roam, we have roots -
We have a place to come home to...
We feel this pain because we love and that we are loved.

for Papa